He phoned today. I recognised him from a previous enquiry and thought he was calling to make a booking. No, he was calling asking me for details again. I tore him a new butt hole and, despite his insistence that he’d never phoned me before and that I had to be mistaken, […]

“Hi,” he started.
I glanced irritably at the chat screen. A total stranger. Obviously fancied his chances.
“Hi,” I typed back. Monosyllabic discourse works well with some.
“Fancy a chat?”
There are three possible responses to this: Yes, No, or …
“£1 per minute payable via Nochex,”
This had been a successful cyberchat killer on many occasions. I returned to the […]

I logged into my ISP today to make an indignant complaint as my disenfranchisement from Internet broadband spilled into its second day. Had my speech all ready. Only to find that the account had been deactivated for non-payment. This was news to me.
I phoned customer support. Didn’t one get a warning at least? They had […]

What a day. Thoughtful congratulatory messages spread across three escort message boards (Puntingzone, Punternet, and Captain69). I was in the middle of responding to each one, including direct emails and blog comments, when my Internet connection died on me.
I rebooted my router several times. Even rebooted my computer for good measure. I had gone through […]

Later this month, I’ll have the pleasure of the company of a man I was meant to have met last year. But on the scheduled day, he never phoned, I had no confirmation number to reach him on and wasn’t about to drive to a central London hotel and find he wasn’t there. […]

As I’d switched the phone off to avoid being further plagued by Swinger Man, I’d missed a text message from my friend of the night before. She’d wanted me to let her know when I got home safely.
Mr Silver had left at 7.30 am after starting awake, realising he’d drifted off. I’d seen […]

Given half a chance, I’d have dodged the invitation. I like my own company and the thought of an evening in a smoke filled bar had me wearing a grimace all week at the prospect.
I got there two hours late. Guess half of me hoped that the others would have either left or […]