Shaznay Lewis. Formerly of All Saints. I’m so glad she’s got freckles. She’s always had freckles but was forced to wear layers of make-up to hide them when still part of the all-girl band. She launched her solo career, and with it, her freckles.
Like I said, I’m glad she’s got freckles. […]

What a week. In theory I say it’s business as usual where the disabled or physically challenged are concerned. But I’ve never had a chance to put my mouth where … well, I think you get my drift.
Earlier this week I had my first client with a colostomy bag. All I could […]

I like Stan Collymore. I found I liked him when he was on The Farm a TV Reality Show; I watched snatches of it every so often. I told a girlfriend he was misunderstood and very harshly judged for one moment of rage.
“Tell me of one other instance where he’s rumoured to have […]

The Aged Artist still sounded as bunged up on the answerphone as he had when he first phoned me last week to say he had a cold. He was itching to come down and see me, but the cold was still lingering. Poor sod!
“Have you been taking vitamin C?” I chided him. I was back […]

Not that we could make industrial compensation claims for it yet. But maybe if the industry got legalised …
I was watching a documentary about a Californian Escort late last night. I was watching it with a fellow escort. She’s based up in Scotland so we were chatting on MSN messenger while the […]

Mr Muddy was shackled by his hands to the bed and bending over. He suggested that I swap my gloved finger for the handle of his bone-handled carving knife. Where was it, I asked and was horrified to be told it was kept in the kitchen. He described where I could find it and I […]

Yesterday was a very crucial day for Mr Muddy. I should have called him last night. But by the time I settled down enough, it was almost midnight. He on the other hand thought he should have called me last night but similarly only remembered about midnight.
So I called him first thing […]

 “So, how do I rate as a client?”
I opened my mouth with the normal stock-phrase that would have been something positive. The customer is, after all, always right. Right? I then fell back on the pillows laughing because he’d put me on the spot. I’m normally the one worrying about […]

With an hour and a half to go until our appointment, he was cutting it fine if I was to get there in time. By rights, he ought to have phoned me by now to confirm. I need an hour at least to drive to the City, and if he wasn’t going to […]

The above should be chanted to the tune of Sir Cliff Richard’s Summer Holiday classic. I’m now officially excited about the holiday next week. I dug out a yellow bikini I bought years ago when I was, without doubt, a Size 16. As I’ve lost a teeny weeny bit of weight lately, […]

Mr Muddy opted to visit me this time around. The planned trip to his neck of the woods had not been feasible so desperate for his bi-monthly fix, he’d come down to London rather than wait indefinitely.
He came with news. On the horizon was a meeting with a lad,y none the less. She had gone […]

That’s all there was to it. I stared at the screen in disbelief, then re-read the subject header again. And again. It made less sense each time. As my people would say, no break, no jam.
The author had to be one of two things: a moron, or a teenager – the latter […]

An otherwise non-descript afternoon got an uplift today when I had a phone call out of the blue from another black and busty escort. It’s always momentous hearing the voice of someone whose pictures and forum postings you know quite well. I see her adverts around, and even recommend her when a query goes out […]

I was wide awake. I’d just checked the time. It was 1.30 am, the time I’d promised my overnight client that we’d awake to resume duties. He’d placed me in charge of the night’s proceedings and my first firm decision had been to announce that I’d like to get some sleep first. […]

I hate throwing things away, but hording has its drawbacks, especially if you’ve scribbled a client’s name and number on a sheet of paper. So I chucked away a piece of paper. I’m now cursing myself as I’ve found the keys I was asked about the other day but now have no way […]